Here’s a twofer, from an energy standpoint.
Exercise with your mate.
Not only will you reap all the mind and body rewards of physical activity (in case you need reminding of the myriad health and energy benefits of exercise, but you’ll also foster a stronger relationship with the person you love. And if you make a habit of exercising together, studies show, you each stand a better chance of sticking to a routine.
You also stand a better chance of upping your sexual and romantic energy, which is not exactly a bad side benefit. When I interviewed the great sociologist and writer Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sez, Love, and the Sensual Years, she quickly drew the connection between energy and relationships: “One major source of depression is when you relationship or marriage is not doing well”, she gold me. “And that take away from the ability to mobilize energy”. The remedy? “Exercise together!”
“Many people don’t get those energizing endorphins going if they aren’t physical with each other”, Schwartz told me. “Endorphins are a class of brain chemicals that make you feel joy. And once you get them going, it’s enormously helpful for getting the whole romance thing going”.
CHOOSE YOUR ACTIVITY
The exercise you pick should depend on your goals, fitness abilities, and preferences. If the two of you have different athletic abilities, find a middle-ground activity (this is especially important when one spouse is overly competitive). Playing doubles in tennis, going tandem – kayaking or cycling – and hiking at a pace that works for both of you are all great ways to pair mismatched strengths. (Even walking together could do it – plus it’s a great way to start a powerful conversation.
My girlfriend and I like to hike in the nearby mountains 9with our highly competitive dogs). Getting away from our hectic lives, even for just an hour, is time for us to catch up, discuss life’s mundane details, plan great things for our future, or silently share the sounds of nature. All that, plus breathtaking views and a heart-pumping workout.
Winter activities such as ice skating, snow-shoeing, and skiing can be great ways to bond. (But be forewarned – relationships can hit an icy patch when a downhill newbie is taught to ski by a significant other. Take lessons, and whatever you do, do not follow your significant other down an expert slope unless you know you’re ready. Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but Black Diamonds – or worse, Double Black Diamonds – offer nothing but pain to a beginner).
You can also practice togetherness at the gym while exercising at your own pace on side-by-side cardio machines. Take a yoga class, pair up for salsa lessons, or get into swimming. Doesn’t matter. Get your heart rate up and your (Mutual) energy will soar. Your romantic life won’t be too shabby either.
Every relationship needs a little variety, so share an athletic challenge – try rock climbing, rafting, or mountain biking. Challenging activities excite our brains, help build new neural pathways, and slow the aging process.
Exercising together promotes good health, reduces stress, increases energy, makes you look and feel better, strengthens your relationship, and may improve your sex life.
What’s not to like?
It Doesn’t Always Work Out the Way You Hope!
A male graduate student I know was working on a research project in Japan, where he found himself developing a crush on one of his fellow grad students. She, however, didn’t seem to be the slightest bit interested in him.
So he hatched a good-natured plot. He was familiar with the research that showed how raising adrenaline levels together often has a positive romantic effect, so he decided to ask her to go with him on an adventure – a rickshaw ride through the streets of Tokyo. She eagerly agreed.
Afterward, excited from the new experience, she turned to him and told him how great the ride had been.
And then added breathlessly, ‘And that rickshaw driver was so handsome!”
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