Pick whatever unhealthy, energy-draining habit you’ve been trying to wean yourself from as an example. Although you can intellectualize and nauseam about why you should change your ways, there’s a part of your brain that’s a screaming two-year-old-it wants what it wants when it wants it, whether that’s a cigarette, a pint of Haagen Dazs, a bottle of wine, or carte blanche at Nordstrom. And although we could argue about the wine or the shopping spree, most of the habits we want to break are the same ones that drain our energy and vitality.
I’m sure by now I don’t have to tell you that those bad habits can damage your physical, emotional, and financial health; add to your stress levels; and ultimately sap your energy.
To effectively change an ingrained habit you need to do three tings:
1. Define your reasons to change.
2. Recognize t triggers you behavior.
3. Collect a bag of diversionary tactics to occupy your inner toddler.
Change is hard, but it’s doable – with a plan. Start with this advice:
• Prepare for change. Before you try to give up the cigarettes, cut out sugar, or control your spending, write down all the reasons you want to change your behavior. Keep the list growing, and reread it often. Plan ways to work around the typical situations, experiences, and feelings that trigger your craving.
• Take one day at a time. Give yourself at least a month to focus on changing just one habit. As with any goal, commit to yourself (in writing) and to those around you. Come up with a reward (preferably something healthy, such as a day at a spa) for sticking with it, and build in consequences for giving up (donating your favorite outfit to charity). Plan each step of the process.
• Out with the old, in with the new. If you are trying to cut down on the amount of television you watch, for instance, have a prime-time replacement. Make it something pleasurable – reading a novel, playing with the kids, or socializing with friends. If you replace a bad habit with a good one, then you’ll have filled the energy drainer with an energy promoter.
• Spin to win. You see this all the time in a presidential, election cycle. Candidates attempt to lower expectations so that if they lose a primary they can declare victory by moving the goalposts. (“We were expecting to lose by 30 percent, and we only lost by 15 percent – so we actually won!”) Believe it or not, there’s a valuable lesion in this: Manage your expectations.
This is especially true when you’re trying to lose weight. Remember, there are no unrealistic goals, just unrealistic timetables. If you set a goal of losing 20 pounds and after a month you’ve only lost 4, it’s still progress, and don’t let you inner voice tell you otherwise. Celebrate small success in a healthy way.
• Wait it out. When the urge to resort to the old behavior strikes – whether it’s indulging in a pint of ice cream out of the container or having a cigarette – have a diversionary tactic ready. Those times when you’re feeling stressed and suddenly want more than anything in the world to do something you know is going to sap your energy (cigarette, sugar indulgence, fourth slice of pizza), go for a walk, take a bath, practice a few yoga moves, or call a supportive friend. Cravings are remarkably fickle, and if you can wait them out for 15 minutes they usually pass.
A good set of diversionary “plan B” actions can help you make it through. Remember that list you made for the reasons you want to replace an energy-draining habit with a more productive one? Read it. Preferably aloud. Whenever you’re feeling “weak”, remain yourself that you are in charge her. Taking steps toward a healthier life will add up to an improved self-image, a more positive outlook on life, an increased energy.
Some of my fellow teachers in the self-help movement, such as my friends Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Christine Comafrod-Lynch, and T. Harv Eker, love to say that it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit. I think ‘re right. But think about it. If you devoted three weeks to cultivating one new, energy-enhancing, life-affirming habit, at the end of the year you’d have seventeen strong new behavioral strategies for successful living.
Imagine how much energy you could create for yourself with that!
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