Back in the 1990s, there was a famous saying bandied about in American politics. Democratic political consultant James Carville coined it, using it to keep his candidate (Bill Clinton) on message about the single most important issue in the campaign. The slogan was this: “It’s the economy, stupid!”
Well, to paraphrase that classic slogan, when it comes to energy, “It’s the whole person, stupid!”
Of course it goes without saying that I’m not calling you stupid. What I am saying, however, and have said numerous times throughout these pages, is that energy doesn’t just happen. It comes out of everything that makes you unique as a person. It’s a by-product of your physical, mental, and emotional life. Energy is that shows up naturally when you remove all the obstacles to well-being, whether these obstacles come in the form of bad food, bad nutrition, or bad choices.
So a big theme of this article has been the removal of those energy blocks from your life. This article, concentrate specifically on ways to liberate your energy from the toxins of bad relationships, unmet needs, unexpressed communications, and other obstacles to your full self-expression as a high-energy person, brimming with joy, enthusiasm, and optimism.
Yes, I’m talking about you.
THE HIGH-ENERGY YOU
If you don’t recognize yourself in that description (here it is again, in case you forgot: brimming with joy, enthusiasm, and optimisms), the reason might well be because you have neglected critical aspects of your own person and spiritual growth. If that’s the case, I hope the techniques and suggestions found in this chapter will help get you back on track.
If “brimming with joy, enthusiasm, and optimism” sounds like a good definition of a high-energy person, that’s because it is. And it can be a perfect description of your. In fact, it probably already is. You just may have forgotten how to be that person.
I hope this article will help you remember how.
Lose the Energy Vampires
Here’s the definition of an energy vampire: Someone who sucks up all the oxygen in the room. Someone who leaves you depleted. Someone who, when you interact with him or her, leaves you feeling less than good.
These people drain your energy. Lose them.
The world-famous Framingham Study demonstrated that we are, in large measure, the average of the three people we spend the most time with. If three of your best friends are obese, you have a 50 percent greater chance of being obese. Many motivational speakers have expanded the maxim to five people, but the point remains. If you want to see how you’re doing, look around at the five people you spend the most time with, says Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul.
It’s the same thing with your energy. If the people you spend the most time with are sucking you dry, there’s no supplement, food, or exercise in the world that’s going to give you that lost energy back.
So lose the vampires.
JETTISON THESE FOUR ENERGY DRAINERS
Not sure who your vampires are? Here’s quick definition. They’re the friend, relative, or coworker who drags you down with negativity, and leaves you feeling angry, deflated, somehow incomplete, and nearly always drained of energy. They’re part of a relationship that’s both unsupportive and unrewarding. Sometimes, sadly, but not surprisingly, they’re found in your own family.
Toxic friends come in various packages. Here area a few examples of the various subgroups, and how to identify them:
• Crosses every boundary. There’s no end to the favors she will ask or the time she’ll take up. Don’t expect much in return.
• Blames first, asks questions later. Assumes everything wrong in her life in someone else’s fault. Refuses to take responsibility for her own actions. Constantly complains and expects you to listen. Endlessly.
• Is known as “the tornado”. His life is chaos, every situation is a crisis, and every encounter with you is just another opportunity to replay the drama of the day. Best characterized by the old joke about the actor who talks endlessly about his performance and then says, “But enough his performance and then says, “But enough about me! What did you think of my performance?”
• Is called “the downer”. You tell him your child has been having headaches and he tells you about his friend’s niece who died of a brain tumor. You stop at your bank’s ATM machine on your way out to dinner and he launches into a 30-minute diatribe about credit card companies and the government’s stranglehold on the middle class. Even if you agree with him, he’s annoying as hell, and you’re drained by his negative energy.
Get the picture? I can almost feel you nodding emphatically. We all know these folks. (And if you’re still unsure of the definition of an “energy vampire”, use this one, direct from the cliff notes: Someone who leaves you feeing angry, depressed, or worn out). Once you’ve identified her or him or them, ask yourself this: Why is this person in my life? Is this the kind of friendship / relationship I deserve?
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